Anshun, I'm back! Honestly wouldn't recommend going

**Anshun Travel Guide: A Magical Journey of Waterfalls, Caves, and Sticky Rice**

**🌊 Must-Visit Attractions (With Anti-Scam Tips)**
1. **Huangguoshu Waterfall**
- The largest waterfall in Asia, roaring so loud it sounds like the heavens flushing a toilet! Wear a raincoat to get close, or you'll instantly become part of a "wet T-shirt contest."
- *Anti-Scam*: Don't skip the scenic shuttle ticket—walking will make you question your life choices.

2. **Dragon Palace**
- Boat ride into a karst cave with stalactites that look like alien creatures. The highlight? "Flying Waterfall in Dragon Gate," a waterfall hidden inside the cave—basically the "Water Curtain Cave Pro Max."
- *Fun Fact*: The cave stays warm in winter and cool in summer, saving you AC costs in summer!

3. **Tianlong Tunpu**
- A Ming Dynasty "time-traveler" village where aunties still wear traditional Fengyang Hanfu. Catch a "Dixi Opera" performance—the masks are so fierce they could cure kids' nightmares.
- *Humorous Tip*: Don't ask if they're paid actors unless you want a free eye-roll.

4. **Getu River**
- Watch "spider-men" free-climb cliffs, leaving you sweating and clenching your toes. Pro tip: Don't try this at home—those of us with travel insurance value our lives.

**🍜 Foodie Radar (Cheap & Addictive)**
- **Guo Juan (Rolled Rice Wraps)**: Anshun's "cold spring rolls," so spicy you'll cry but keep eating.
- **Duo Duo Fen**: A violent name for a gentle dish—rice tofu in sour soup, ¥15 per person until you can't move.
- **Fried Rice Cake Porridge**: Sounds weird, tastes like carb-loaded happiness.
- *Avoid*: Overpriced "Miao ethnic dishes" in tourist areas—follow locals to alleyway stalls instead.

**🏠 Budget Stays**
- **B&Bs near Huangguoshu**: Off-season doubles for ¥100, often with free local oranges from the owner.
- **Hostels in Anshun**: ¥30 for a bunk bed, where you can compete with fellow travelers over who got drenched the most.
- *Hidden Perk*: Stay in a Tunpu guesthouse and wake up to aunties gifting you sunflower seeds.

**🚗 Transport Humor**
1. High-speed train from Guiyang to Anshun takes 30 mins—but good luck napping with kids screaming louder than the waterfall.
2. Inter-attraction buses drive like bumper cars—motion sickness pills are a must.
3. Lost in Tunpu? Just follow the Hanfu-clad aunties to return to the 21st century.

**💡 Ultimate Advice**
- Visit during rainy season (June-August) for the best waterfall views, but get a waterproof phone case—trust us, iPhones have drowned here.
- Wear non-slip shoes! The steps in Water Curtain Cave are slick enough for impromptu breakdancing.
- Shout at the waterfall for a free KTV echo effect—no coins needed!

> 📢 **Anshun Travel Essentials**:
> 1️⃣ Get soaked by a waterfall
> 2️⃣ Eat until you breathe fire
> 3️⃣ Gasp "worth every penny!" in a cave
> (Bonus: Go home to find rainbows in all your photos)