Durian Drama & Trishaw Beats: My Wild Weekend in Melaka 🍜🏰🐸

#malaccatrip
Hey squad! Imagine a place where 500-year-old forts rub shoulders with neon trishaws blasting *Despacito*… welcome to Melaka! I just spent a weekend here, and it’s like history class threw a party. Let’s dive in!

**Day 1: Forts, Laksa, & a VERY Loud Trishaw**
First stop: **A Famosa Fort**. This 16th-century Portuguese ruin is *all* vibes—crumbling walls, jungle views, and the faint smell of… durian? (More on that later.) Pro tip: Go early to beat the tour groups and Instagram husbands.

Lunch was **Nyonya laksa** at *Jonker 88*. Creamy coconut broth, tangy tamarind, and shrimp paste that slapped my taste buds awake. Also, the aunty next to me taught me to say “sedap” (delicious) between mouthfuls. 10/10 for flavor + life skills.

Then, I rented a bike and got *hopelessly lost* in Jonker Street’s maze of antique shops. Cue me accidentally photobombing a Malaysian influencer’s shoot. (Sorry, fam!)

**Night 1: Frog Porridge & Karaoke Trishaws**
Jonker Night Market is WILD. Think sizzling satay, mango sticky rice, and… **frog porridge**. Yes, FROG. It tasted like chicken, but I’ll never unsee those little legs. 🐸

But the highlight? Hiring a **disco trishaw**! My driver decked it out with LED lights, fake flowers, and a speaker blasting *Gangnam Style*. We zoomed past St. Paul’s Hill like K-pop royalty. Dance moves mandatory.

**Day 2: River Cruises & Durian Betrayal**
Morning river cruise time! Melaka’s waterways are lined with murals and hanging lanterns—so pretty, until a monitor lizard popped up and I screamed loud enough to scare it. 🦎

Post-cruise, I caved and tried **durian cendol**. The smell? Like gym socks. The taste? Surprisingly sweet… but my Grab driver banned me from his car afterward. Worth it? Debateable.

**Unexpected Moment: The Kung Fu Grandma**
At **Cheng Ho Cultural Museum**, I met a 70-year-old volunteer who demoed kung fu moves while explaining Ming Dynasty history. Legend.

**If You Go:**
- **Rent a bike**—but download Maps.me (Wi-Fi’s spotty).
- **Trishaw-hop at night**—the crazier the decorations, the better.
- **Skip heels**—cobblestones + durian spills = disaster.

Melaka is chaos, charm, and chicken rice. It’s where every corner has a story (or a snack). 10/10 would get lost again.

Anyone else brave enough for frog porridge? Let’s compare trauma. 👇

P.S. Pack mints. Durian breath is *real*.